• Induja Nair

Self- loathing

"Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all"??

You might have heard or read this poem if you have seen as many Disney animated movies as much as I have. This is a famous line that the queen who is also the stepmother of Snow-white asks the magic mirror. Back in time when I had watched it, I remember hating her for tormenting Snow white's life, but now when I see the movie, all I do is empathize with her. She had her own set of insecurities, appearance anxiety and just wanted to prove a point to her self. In short, she was never in love with herself.

How many of us do this regularly? Of course, we don't have "the mirror", but we all do have "a mirror". And let's be honest, we don't always just say," oh god, I look beautiful, I am slim, I am fair" and all of these socially conceived notions of beauty instead we rarely give ourselves a compliment.

Its as if the mirror just decides our day or our feeling, wherein all its doing is showing the reflection of who you are. Just you...

If you arent happy with what you see in there, no magic mirror, in the whole wide world, can help you out.

So, now is the right time to introduce this word- Self Loathing. Its explained as hatred or dislike of oneself. It is like an autoimmune disease, where our own body becomes the biggest threat. It weakens our self- esteem, makes us more self- conscious, increases anxiety and in short just wrecks our self- image.

So how do we spot this? There definitely are symptoms of this condition, some signs along the way.

1. Change in food patterns: There are extremes to every spectrum. Overeating or undereating leads to various conditions. Some think that crash diets could make them lose that extra pound and overdo it which culminates(worst case scenarios) in eating disorders like anorexia. And on the other hand, another subset, in order to just avoid the negative self-talk, finds solace in food and ends up with conditions like Bulimia, binge eating disorder and loads of guilt. Watch your patterns, seek out for help if and when needed.

2. Ignoring physical health: Its quite obvious after the first point right. Self-loathing proceeds forward with ignorance of general hygiene and health. Tend to sleep less or more. Baths might just become scarce. The disorganized room would become their thing.

3. Isolation: A sudden shutdown from the outside world. They start getting aloof and distant. Start preferring places with less and fewer people, it's just because people would just make them more uncomfortable than they really are.

4. Comparison: They start comparing themselves with others and talk ill of themselves. Their confidence hits rock bottom and thinks that everybody else's life is just better.

5. Jealousy: this stems from low self-esteem which is the end product of all the above-mentioned points. You suddenly start to hate all those people whom you think have got it all together. Start to talk ill about them even though it probably is not true.

These are all some of the most common symptoms of self- hatred. We all do it, have done it, at least once or maybe even as part of a daily routine.

But the crux to this understanding is that you will never be beautiful if you don't feel it.

If you feel unhealthy, just switch some with healthy habits. Incorporate more healthy foods, stretch, workout as and when you please.

Appreciate your hair, skin, pimples, tummy, thigh gap, stretch marks, and every scar in your body.

Only when you accept where you are, and work on what's not working for you, is the only way that you reach the destination of self- love.

Self- acceptance is the first baby step to self - love.

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©2019 by Just Breathe, You got this.

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