• Induja Nair

Is needing and asking for help a sign of weakness?

Updated: Dec 28, 2019

I am of the belief that people are of two main categories- one set whom readily help people in need and the other who ignore and get into their own delusional world. Now the question arises as to whom should be helped?

Are only those people in need of help who actually ask for it or there is a larger majority who are in dire need of help but refrain from putting their hands out? The answer to this is a simple yet complicated yes. I know this because I was in that subset of people myself, couple of times.

Back when I was battling depression, I kept it all inside me. The only outbursts were the occasional poems or journals that I used to scribble down. I was scooping all of it and was suffering all by myself, and all I could hear were repetitive voices like nobody would understand me, nobody can help me, nobody really cares. I believed it up until a point where the negative voices just deafened my instinct to even live. That was when I put my arm out for help. I needed help. I needed to silence these voices and needed to sleep and get back to life because I knew that this can’t be it. And let me tell you, it wasn’t easy and I do acknowledge the fact that not everyone comes out of it alive, but trust me, it’s possible.

The major thing that was keeping me from asking help other than the understanding that people do not really get the feeling, was my ego. Now how should I put it in a simple way? It’s like I have conveniently believed all my life that help is for the weak, if I ask help that means I do not have the skillset to do that particular thing which in fact makes me inferior and stupid. I know this might seem bizzare to you, but don’t we all struggle with it, once in a while at least?

I don’t know about you guys, but I do. So since I realised that it’s not an appreciable trait, I decided to change. You may ask how? I'll tell you how.

I just did two things on a regular basis. One, just telling myself that I am imperfect, I have flaws and I am no superhuman who has all the admirable traits, I am a human. This step I call it as self- acceptance. I began writing down what I am good at and what are the areas I need help. Like for instance when it came to my mental health I needed help, not like a google doctor coz unlike headaches which goes away with crocin, mental issues are quite stubborn, and I needed real help, so I took therapy.

So the next step is what I call conditioning the mind: This step included a lot of reading, about different people and how they have reached heights not just by hard work, dedication but by ample support and help. Like for example all these successful people have assistants who keep an account of what they would be doing on a particular day, it’s to ease their struggle and make their life a lot easier, similarly we all need timely help once in a while in different areas of life.

And it’s no shame to ask for it, I might be miserable at something, u might be excellent in it. We all have our own pros and cons, the idea is to accept it and work on it accordingly.

So, this is how I deal with my ego whenever it pops up, I am sure each of you might also have some ideas of your own.

Share it with others, we all are social beings and asking for help is sure not a trait of the weak, only strong and humble people can pull that off.

So you get to choose who you want to be- the former or the latter.

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©2019 by Just Breathe, You got this.

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