• Induja Nair

Five character traits of people with healthy self - relationship

When it comes to taking a piece of advice for relationship issues, we have an array of articles, information on what to do, what doesn't work and everything. But when it comes to fostering a healthy self- relationship, we have finite resources, we have bounded knowledge.

Isn't it strange that we all work on different relationships we nurture but forget the foundation stone in itself?

Healthy self-relationship means to strike a chord with the real you. Being aware of your own strengths and weaknesses, appreciating all the scars and yet striving to become a better version of oneself.

Over time through my research and observation, I have seen some patterns or traits that people who have a healthy self-relationship exhibit.

Here are the five of them that I narrowed it down to:

1. The Art of Saying 'no': Now this seems to be an art that they have all mastered. Most of us refrain from using 'no' and even when we use we give like a thousand explanations for it. We simply can't deny someone. So here, I am not telling you to say 'no' to someone who asks you to get a bottle of water or something. What I am trying to explain is that anything which goes beyond and above your value system can just be denied.

For example, I try to sleep by eleven so that I could get up early. It's a habit that I have cultivated, a value that I prioritize. So I say 'no' to any activity past eleven. Of course, there are exceptions to the rule, but I make sure that aligns with my priority.

So just say 'no' without any guilt, it's not a self-centered habit.

2. Owning your true self: They know who they are inside out. They know their worth and flaws. They know where to put in effort so that they could strive to become better. We all seem to have vague ideas about ourselves. We do know things but not very sure of most of them. If I ask you to note down things you don't like about yourself, the list would be ready very soon. But if the question was the opposite, we struggle. Most of us do not know our real potential and worth. We are brutal critics of ourselves. Dig deeper than the skin, feel the inner you, accept the blemishes and forge forward for better you.

3. Quality time: They believe in the quality of time that they spend with themselves. They understand that striking a balance in their hustle is of prime importance. In the book Zen - the art of simple living, there is a concept called 'making room for emptiness'. It's like taking ten minutes daily to just sit back and not think about anything, like clearing off thoughts. Staying away from social media, spending time with family, pets, a stroll in nature all comes under the branch of quality time with oneself.

4. Responsible for their feelings: They take responsibility for how they feel. Sometimes, things go wrong, not as we plan it, and at such times all we can do is control our reaction to it. The thing is, we are in control and more powerful than we realize. When you take responsibility for your life, happiness, you are en route in the self-healing journey.

5. Protect themselves: They guard themselves against their own negative thoughts, situations, and people. Most of the time, we withdraw ourselves from doing something because someone else thinks that its stupid and impractical. We need to shield our dreams from such thoughts, situations, and people.

Fostering a healthy self-relationship takes time but its totally worth it. It gives you that edge and compliments all the other bondings that you have. Lets all just be ourselves, the true self.

If some don't like that, let it be. You haven't made a deal with anyone saying you will make everyone who meets you like you.

So just let it be...

Happy Reading

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