5 hard-hitting truths you need to know before you embark the self- love journey
So you have made up your mind to set out on the self-loving journey.
Kudos, more power to you.
There are some things that I want you to understand and prepare for. Like any other journey, these too have obstacles, thorns from which sometimes you need to dodge or sway, but you need to keep moving.
Remember, "when the going gets tough, only the tough get going"...
I am going to jot down five blunt truths that you need to know in order to make this journey of yours less challenging.
1. You are going to get uncomfortable:
There will be moments when you so want to just give up because of who you have become by living ignorantly. There will be guilt, frustration, angst, blame and all sorts of emotions that fill you up. The process of self-love starts with self-healing and then gradually progresses towards self-acceptance.
You can heal from a wound only when it is exposed, and treated well. Here, we have mentally created wounds that we have locked in cryptic boxes. We need to open them up, reveal them and then nurse with love and affection.
Always keep in mind that the hardest fights we fight are with ourselves, so expect pain but stick with it because it's rewarding at the end.
2. You cannot please everyone and it's okay:
I struggle with this quite often. I always try to be the best for others and it breaks me if someone doesn't believe in something that I truly believe in. With time I understood that its stupid of me to even expect this from anyone. Not everyone will like you for who you are, not everyone will understand your dreams, not everyone will appreciate your efforts, not everyone will respect your values and it's totally okay.
Be true to your self and its always better to have a handful of people who really love you for who you are, so appreciate and count on them.
3. Some days are going to be tough:
Back in time when I was going through eating disorders, not every day was rosy. Now when I look back, I am so proud of myself and how I have finally struck a healthy balance with food and my body. But it was not always uphill. To be honest, there were more pits to fall on,and it wasnt linear but the highlight is that I didn't just decide to stay in them. I mustered the courage to get back on, even when I felt I couldn't.
This whole journey of self- love is going to be overwhelming. There are days when you just want to go back to your old habits and stick to them because that's your comfort zone, but you need to keep pushing yourself from 'you'.
Most of the time, we are our biggest enemy and who better understands the tactics to fight this enemy than 'you'.
4. Letting go is unpleasant:
When you have identified the problem, you slowly start to recognize the cause that led you to it. Usually, it's an old habit, or some people, a place or can be anything actually. A pattern that needs a thorough check and often it's not easy to let go.
If you have entered this journey of self- love, after a bitter breakup there is huge baggage you are carrying in your system. You have to free yourself from that weight, you need mental cleansing. It's like when you have to fit more clothes in your wardrobe, you first need to organize them. You have to decide on what clothes you want for the future, what needs to go and then only can you incorporate new items.
Similarly, you need to cleanse your system and letting go of memories, experiences are sure painful but the need of the moment.
5. Its a marathon, not a sprint:
The journey of nurturing a healthy self- relationship is a long one, its a marathon, not a sprint. It requires patience, perseverance, and a strong will.
It's like having a plant baby. Its a sapling and we nurture it with water, manure but we cannot force it to grow right. It takes its own sweet time. You need to patiently wait and once it's grown and has flowers or fruits you have a sense of satisfaction.
Similarly, you need to nourish yourself with positive thoughts, love and have to be kind and patient with your self.
Nothing good comes out of haste
So these are somethings you could look out for and prepare yourself. When you know what to anticipate in this journey, you are well ahead and the trail would be much easier.